WraithGod

For all your down-to-the-scaled-mm dinosaur reconstructive needs (and a super helpful guy!).





We moved again - fifth time's the charm.  The new place is lovely and finally has a layout that makes sense.  Best view ever, facing west to see all the storms come in.

YAY SUMMER.

One year of school left.  My scanner is broken so the art thing is going to take a very extended hiatus.  Still living with man and dog in our apartment, which is the only unit with a perfectly placed tree to shade the building and sun the garden.

Yeah, placeholder journal.





To do:

So much.

This journal's feature:

- BECAUSE OF THIS: megansketched.deviantart.com/a…





Clinicals are fun but at the same time it's really hard to do them without having any theory at all.  I saw a vaginal birth today that scarred me for life (I wouldn't look up third-degree tears if I were you).  I don't really have much else to say on the school front... it still sucks and takes up so much time.  I'm exhausted.

BF and I finally made it out for a "omg leaves r pritty" kind of walk in a conservation area.  We deviated off the path and found coyote/dog bones and a snake right off the bat.  Then, further on into the woods, we saw this neat little blue and white bird.  It was chirping at us and flew to a branch like 10 feet away.  I was like "lol" and put my hand up with my finger extended and it actually flew down and landed on it.  I was like wth??  This happened like eight times later on with some chickadees near the end of the day.  We also got within a foot of some weird-looking red squirrels and chipmunks, and (I shit you not) there was an owl that had just caught a snake sitting on a branch.  I got within ten feet of it before it flew higher up and just kind of stared at us.  It was fucking adorable.  I have seriously never seen one outside of a zoo before.  We're going back sometime soon.

So we went to my parents house for Thanksgiving.  It all went by way too fast.  My mom ended up telling us last-minute that my little brother had a hockey game, so we had to rearrange our trip to the zoo and my wife and older brother couldn't come.  It was great though, all the animals were out and about until the late afternoon, and I finally got to see the stingrays.  They had sharks too, which was really cool.  They feel so different for being so closely related.  So yeah.  I'm so cool, I know.





*Requests: Closed
~Trades/Collabs: Open
Commissions: If you want.

To do:

~lunatic-13 - lineart done, awaiting response
~dracontiar - awaiting request
~triggerman - concept
~dashcat - concept
~hydraness - concept
*Original Shimmer - concept
-"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore!', then quoth the raven nevermore..." - Pencil done
-Wyvern - To be posted in scraps.
-So Far Away - Pending scan/photo
-Swimming Harak-'Na - Pencil done
-Mushroom Cloud - Concept
-CrissCross rear/DooM - Concept
-Don't Jump - GAVE UP, pending scan for scraps.
-Alien Nation - Sketching
-Sikryx - Inking
-Harak-'Na fight - Inking

:icon-drakoneara-:

This journal's feature:

- BECAUSE OF THIS: megansketched.deviantart.com/a…


:butterflytwo:


I hate myself.  Why do I have to make an ass of myself and say stupid things that I either blurt out and instantly regret, or warn myself not to say it but say anyways?  Do I want attention, or am I trying to act like a dumbass so no one ever expects anything out of me?  It's gotten to the point where I am not proud of any of my achievements, nor does anyone else give a shit about them.  It's what I tried to cultivate way back when I started acting this way, but now it's just gone too far and I can't even act like myself anymore.  It's like being a fucking idiot that no one can take seriously has actually become my personality, and that IS me being myself, and frankly the thought scares the shit out of me.  I need to find the happy medium between heartless slut bitch and dumb-shit Barbie whore.  I want to maintain a sense of humor, but I don't want everything I say to be a big joke.  I want to be able to cry, but I don't want to be sensitive to everything.  Today I was at work, and I was running on absolute autopilot.  I felt like I couldn't control anything I was saying or doing.  The whole time, in the back of my mind, I was horrified, but it all snowballed and I couldn't stop.  I really like one of my coworkers but I'm sure by now, like everyone, he thinks I'm just a vapid ditz.  And it happens all the time.  It's like being drunk against my will, and when I shake out of it the self-loathing comes from that corner in the back of my mind and completely consumes me.  Why am I so fucking STUPID?  I've been reading the Gossip Girl novels, and I stopped today and realized that I'm acting exactly like the brainless, flighty debutantes that make up the starring cast.  And the whole point of the series is to point out the respective ridiculousness of each person.  I hardly even know who I really am on the inside.  All that's there is a fuckload of self-hatred, completely painted over by this stupid fucking mask.  I'm really tired of people just brushing me off, and it's started to hurt every time someone calls me an idiot, or laughs when I do something moronic.  And you know when that happens that it's actually true, and that it is something you need to change about yourself, be it your perception of the people pointing the fingers, or the thing itself.  In this case, I don't even need to think twice about what needs to be changed.  I'm completely terrified of being serious because I'm so used to acting in a manner where it doesn't matter how people react; the reaction, if negative, can be brushed off because I was just being stupid, or if it's positive, it's irrelevant.


:butterflytwo:


*Requests: Closed
~Trades/Collabs: Open
Commissions: If you want.

To do:

~lunatic-13 - lineart done, awaiting response
~dracontiar - awaiting request
~triggerman - concept
~nevhy - pending scan
~dashcat - concept
~hydraness - concept
*Original Shimmer - concept
-"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore!', then quoth the raven nevermore..." - Pencil done
-Wyvern - To be posted in scraps.
-So Far Away - Pending scan/photo
-Swimming Harak-'Na - Pencil done
-Mushroom Cloud - Concept
-CrissCross rear/DooM - Concept
-Don't Jump - Finishing touches
-Alien Nation - Sketching
-Even in Death - Sketching
-Sikryx - Inking

:icon-drakoneara-:

:**: ----------- :**:


Back at university, boohoo.  My roommate actually cleaned before I came and for four days at least we've been fighting a lot out of frustration but it's not quite quite as gross as before.  It's still built up to the point where I have no patience with anything though.  She was "tired" so I had to walk to the store while I was sick and buy a plunger and unclog the stupid toilet that someone else plugged while she lay around with the bf.  Keep in mind that this was 24 hours AFTER it was clogged.  But I'm so so tired of ranting about this aagghhhh.

Oh right, Happy New Year and Happy Birthday to me.  I got the tattoo I wanted and I'll be posting pictures of all three of my tattoos when it heals.  I'm now 20, still poor but slightly richer.  Clinicals are on a cardio/vascular/thoracic surgery floor so should be pretty neat.  The rest of my holidays once my eye was healed enough was fucking AWESOME, just like the summer.  I really miss that life but there's no one like my friends that I've met up here.  Ah well, three more months.   HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR: Today my Statistics prof went to the washroom with her mike still on. O.M.G. pricelessness, she's the prof everyone hates 'cause she's stuck up haha.


:**: ----------- :**:

*Requests: Closed
~Trades/Collabs: Open
Commissions: If you want.

To do:

~lunatic-13 - lineart done, awaiting response
~dracontiar - awaiting request
*Original Shimmer - Sketching
-Gryphon character sheets - 3 done, 5 to go
-"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore!', then quoth the raven nevermore..." - Sketch started (and then lost... :/ And then found, but crumpled.  And then redrawn in my sketchbook!
-Wyvern - To be posted in scraps.
-So Far Away - Pending scan/photo
-Swimming Harak-'Na (where the hell did I put this one???) (Jan 15: Found it in an old sketchbook, whee!) - Pencil done
-Mushroom Cloud - Concept
-CrissCross rear/DooM - Concept
-Don't Jump - Finishing touches
-Alien Nation - Sketching
-Sikatrice - Concept
-Burn - Pending Scan

:icon-drakoneara-: